I’ve had a front-row seat to the dating patterns of Baby Boomers for more than 30 years. I’ve watched singles navigate classified ads, personal ads, matchmakers, online dating, dating apps, and everything in between.
The technology has evolved. Human nature? Not nearly as much. Monthly in Andrea’s Angle™, I’ll share one funny, quirky observation I’ve discovered after coaching more than 33,000 first dates – and the dating lesson hidden inside it.
The Netflix Dating Syndrome
Ever spend 45 minutes scrolling Netflix… only to give up and watch The Office for the 37th time?
Congratulations: You’re dating exactly the same way.
After coaching more than 33,000 first dates, I’ve discovered something fascinating. The biggest problem in modern dating isn’t a lack of great people – it’s an abundance of choices.
We’ve become so convinced that someone even better is just one swipe away that we rarely give a really good person the chance to become extraordinary.
Welcome to The Netflix Dating Syndrome.
1. You Think the Perfect Match Is One More Swipe Away
He’s attractive.
Swipe.
He’s interesting.
Swipe.
He seems kind.
Swipe.
By profile number 84, you’re convinced George Clooney is probably hiding just below the fold.
Spoiler alert: They’re not.
2. Too Many Choices Make You Worse at Choosing
Remember when there were only a handful of TV channels? You actually watched something. Now we have thousands of movies… and somehow spend Friday night watching previews.
Dating apps have created the exact same problem. More choices haven’t made dating easier. They’ve made commitment harder – and complaining louder.
Why? You are not doing something right.
3. You’re Rejecting Great People for Ridiculous Reasons
“He wore white socks.”
“She used one too many emojis.”
“He likes pickleball.”
“She has a cat.”
“He tucked in his polo shirt.”
I’ve watched amazing people get dismissed over things that won’t matter three weeks into a great relationship.
Meanwhile, kindness, character and emotional availability barely get a second look.
4. You Keep Rewatching the Same Relationship
Netflix:
“I’ll just watch Seinfeld or Cheers again.”
Dating:
“I’ll date another emotionally unavailable person… but this one goes on lots of cruises.”
Different face.
Same ending.
5. Browsing Feels Productive…But It Isn’t
Last week, one of my favorite clients, Jody, 64, from New York, called me, completely frustrated.
“Andrea, there are no men online. Half of them have one photo. The other half didn’t write anything about themselves. I spend hours scrolling when I’d rather be in my garden or with friends.”
I laughed. Not because Jody was wrong… Because I’ve heard this exact speech for 30 years.
So I stopped her: “Jody, you’re not following the strategy I gave you.”
This week’s assignment was simple.
Three sessions. Thirty minutes each.
That’s it.
Set a timer.
Every profile gets a score from 1 to 100.
50 or higher? Send a message.
Below 50? Pass.
No “maybe.” No saving profiles to revisit later. No endless scrolling. Make a decision and move on. And, you must send out 5 original messages each 30-minute period.
Fast-forward one week.
Jody had sent 15 messages. She received four replies.
She’d already been on one lunch date… and had another date scheduled – a morning walk through Central Park with coffee afterward.
But here’s what made me smile.
She said, “Andrea, I finally felt like I had a strategy instead of just wandering around the apps.”
Exactly. That’s the difference. Dating apps aren’t supposed to become your second job. They’re simply one tool. The strategy is what makes them work.
Last year, one out of every three marriages began online. So, the apps aren’t the problem. Most people simply don’t have a system.
So let me ask you: How many meaningful conversations did you have this week? How many dates did you schedule?
Exactly.
Scrolling isn’t dating. It’s entertainment disguised as progress.
6. Perfect Doesn’t Exist
The happiest couples I’ve coached weren’t looking for perfection. They were looking for:
- Kindness
- Consistency
- Curiosity
- Humor
- Emotional availability
Not six-pack abs. Not a passport full of stamps. Not a perfectly curated Instagram feed.
7. Eventually… You Have to Press Play
No movie starts while you’re scrolling. No relationship starts while you’re comparing. At some point… you have to stop shopping… and start discovering.
The magic isn’t in finding someone perfect. It’s in giving someone wonderful enough time to become extraordinary.
Mic Drop
After coaching more than 33,000 first dates, I’ve learned something that surprises almost everyone. The people who find lasting love aren’t better shoppers. They’re better decision-makers.
They stop endlessly auditioning humanity. They stop chasing perfect. They stop wondering who’s hiding behind the next swipe.
Instead… they recognize a good opportunity, lean into it… and see where it goes.
Because here’s the truth: Extraordinary relationships aren’t built through extraordinary swipes. They’re built through one extraordinary decision.
If you’re tired of guessing your way through modern dating and you’re ready for a proven strategy, I’d love to help. Schedule a complimentary consultation and let’s talk about what’s working, what’s not, and what it will take to help you find the right relationship.
And, I know I will get comments disagreeing with me. That’s fine. Some people enjoy being alone with their independence and friends. No judgment. But every longevity study I have encountered says having a romantic partner in your life significantly increases your odds of living longer and well.
Remember, love isn’t luck. It’s strategy.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you recognize your dating patterns? How long do you spend on scrolling profiles? How many messages do you send out to potential daters?
