Evites, Facebook birthday wishes, thank you texts, catch up emails… many of our generation lament the loss of paper invitations, formal thank you notes, birthday cards and an occasional newsy letter. I have boxes of thin, blue, “by air only” letters that my Belgian parents sent each other in the 1950s and those my mother, after moving to the US, exchanged with her parents.
The Mail Was Special
Years ago, when there was talk in the US of mail delivery being moved from 6 days a week to 5 days, I was heartbroken for my older relatives who loved getting the mail. I remembered my mom having coffee and “going through the mail,” I remembered my grandfather wearing a jacket and hat to go to the post office to buy stamps or send letters, I remembered my childhood dog to whom you could not say “mailbox” or she would think she was going on a little walk, and thought about the slogan that many of us remember about the duty of mail carriers, something about “neither snow nor rain…”.
Being Displaced by Digital Notifications
Over time as digital communication increased, my paper mail decreased. My mailbox was pretty much empty except for the occasional catalog, real estate flier, or dental office new patient special. It was a period of time when I wouldn’t pick up my mail for several days in a row, and I had to avoid eye contact with the mail carrier because I worried she thought I was too lazy to get the mail.
A Shift in Mail Delivery
But then, slowly, almost imperceptibly, things changed and I started receiving more mail!
First, It Was AARP
I remember getting my first “invitation” to AARP. At first, I had to google what AARP was and learned it was the American Association of Retired Persons! Retired? I had just finished going back to graduate school! I continued googling (did we call it googling then?) and learned that AARP thinks you can retire at 50. I was shocked that I was old enough to receive an AARP invitation and then I became curious as to how AARP knew how old I was. Did they have this on a Facebook reminder? Was it on their calendar? Was it because my name is Deborah and all Deborahs were born around 1960? Should I be touched that they remembered me when at the time my husband had to text our sons in college to remind them it was my birthday?
Then More Mail Followed
Shortly after AARP found me, they spread the word. I started getting invitations to lunches and 5:00 pm dinners to discuss Medicare, Charitable Giving, Estate Planning and Reverse Mortgages. While the restaurants did sound tempting, I didn’t want to be around old people so I politely declined, which looked a lot like tearing the invitation up into tiny pieces. I remembered my mother getting this type of mail and complaining about it, but it made sense to me then because she WAS old! This was obviously not my situation! I decided that while the US postal service may be dutybound, the quality and efficiency had diminished as clearly, they have me confused with another woman.
Am I Getting Old(er)?
I shared my observations with my sons who, instead of agreeing with me, said nothing, crickets. I told the story again; sure they weren’t paying attention to me, which prompted the braver one to remind me that since they are now in their mid-30s, I must be getting older too. Sigh. Maybe they were right.
It’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally decided to wave the white flag. I’m done fighting the postal service over the steady stream of mail clearly intended for someone older and presumably more interested in Medicare Advantage plans and discount hearing aids. No more carefully worded post it notes taped to my mailbox. No more hopeful trips to the post office to explain the mix up. I’ve just simplified the whole process. Now I just write “Return to Sender” across the front of every one of them, but somehow the post office keeps bringing them back. Maybe they are more efficient than I gave them credit for.
Join the Conversation:
What do you receive mail for these days? Do you feel nostalgic about things that have gone all digital? How often do you send a handwritten note/letter?
