Anticipation is a big part of life. Sometimes it lifts us up, sometimes it weighs us down, and sometimes, it makes our minds jump far ahead of where we are.
Instead of fighting anticipation, we can work with it, so it becomes a helpful tool, not a hidden source of stress. At this stage of life, we have more wisdom and self-understanding than ever. We can use this to make anticipation steady, useful, and even comforting.
What Does “Balanced Anticipation” Mean?
Anticipation itself isn’t the problem. It becomes a problem only when it tips too far in one direction.
Positive Anticipation Gives Us a Spark
We look forward to a visit, eagerly plan a trip, prepare for a new season or hobby, in high spirits. It brings excitement and a sense of possibility.
Negative Anticipation Pushes Us the Other Way
We can start to worry about appointments, expect bad news or imagine worst-case outcomes. It can drain the joy out of even simple plans.
Balanced Anticipation Sits in the Middle
It lets us be aware, but not fearful. It helps us prepare without spiraling. And it reminds us that we have handled challenges before, and we will handle them again.
A good example of balanced anticipation is my recent medical exam. As a cancer survivor, I always feel anxious before my annual mammogram. This year, I tried something different. Instead of letting my mind run toward the worst-case scenario, I reminded myself that even if my cancer did return, it wouldn’t be the end of my story. I’ve faced it before, and I could face it again.
That simple thought turned my fear into something I could manage. And fortunately, everything was fine. Using balanced anticipation made the whole experience much easier to handle.
Why Anticipation Feels Stronger as We Age
Many people tell me they notice anticipation more now than they did in earlier decades. That makes perfect sense. With age comes life experience. And with life experience comes memory, not always the calm kind.
Anticipation can feel louder now:
We Remember More
Past challenges, losses, and stressful events stay with us. Our minds try to “protect” us by predicting what might go wrong next.
We’re More Aware of Risk
When we were younger, we leapt into things without thinking. Now we think first… sometimes too much.
Our Bodies Change
Aches, mobility changes, or illness can make us wonder what the future might look like.
We Have More Quiet Time
Retirement removes many distractions. More space in the day means more space for thoughts to grow.
But the good news is that with age also comes wisdom, resilience, and perspective. We know what we’ve survived. We know what we’re capable of. And we can feel our anticipation and stay grounded at the same time.
Five Ways to Make Anticipation Work for You
You can’t stop anticipation. But you can guide it. Here are five simple ways you can turn negative anticipatory thoughts, into steady, supportive ones.
1. Anchor Yourself in What You Actually Know
Most negative anticipation comes from the imagination, not from facts. When your mind jumps ahead, pause and ask yourself: What do I know for sure today? This small question pulls you out of the “what ifs” and back into the present. It’s a gentle reset.
2. Use “Short-Time Thinking”
When anticipation grows big, reduce the time frame. Think about the next hour. Or the rest of the day. Not the whole week or month. Short time thinking makes everything more manageable. It gives you control in small, steady steps.
3. Ask Yourself: Is This Fear or Preparation?
Fear spirals, while preparation grounds us. Fear says, “Something bad is coming.”
Preparation says, “I can handle what comes.” Simply naming which one you’re in can shift the entire feeling of anticipation.
4. Make Mini Plans
Mini plans are small actions that calm the mind and reduce dread. Examples include putting needed papers in a folder, choosing an outfit the night before, setting an alarm, or even making a simple to-do list. Mini plans give you a sense of progress without overwhelming.
5. Balance Your Thoughts
If a worried thought appears, follow it with something more grounding. For example, instead of thinking “What if my trip is too tiring?” think, “I can pace myself and ask for help if I need it.” Another example is, instead of thinking “What if the appointment brings me bad news?” add to it with, “Whatever happens, I’ll deal with it.”
Balancing your thoughts away from “what if” questions, into statements, isn’t about being falsely positive. It’s about balancing or destressing them with realistic possibilities.
A Simple Exercise to Try
Here is an easy exercise you can do anytime you feel anticipation stress. Grab a pen and paper, or a device, and write/key:
- Something you’re anticipating right now.
- A small thing you can do to prepare.
- Another good outcome that is also possible.
This short process takes only a few minutes. It can help you turn a vague worry into something more concrete and manageable.
Anticipation as a Friend
Anticipation isn’t going anywhere. It’s part of life. But it doesn’t have to be the voice that keeps us awake at night.
When anticipation grows loud, try meeting it with calm steps, simple truths, and a quiet confidence in everything you’ve lived through so far.
We can make it a friend. One reminds us to be prepared, to care for ourselves, and to stay curious about what comes next. We’ve handled so much already. We can handle the future too.
This article is part of a trilogy. The first two are available here at Sixty and Me, with these links:
Part 1: The Bright Side of Looking Forward
Past 2: When Anticipation Turns Against Us
Click for free access to my Substack, Retired Way Out There, where I publish a bi-monthly newsletter and provide handouts.
Join the Conversation:
What’s one big thing you’re anticipating right now? Are you viewing it through the lens of balance or have you gone more negative/positive?
