Last week, I attended a reading in my hometown by author and intuitive Laura Lynne Jackson, who is on tour for her latest book, Guided: The Secret Path to an Illuminated Life. I was introduced to her via her former book, Signs. In fact, that book inspired me to write my last memoir, Hummingbird: Messages from My Ancestors, a book about a hummingbird that visited me outside my writing studio during the pandemic.
That bird, I came to believe, was my grandmother who died more than six decades ago. The hummingbird and I had regular conversations where I asked her questions and received her answers. After our conversations, I expressed my gratitude for my grandmother’s time and wisdom.
Abundant Gratitude
Jackson’s talk was very illuminating; in addition to her aura, which radiated so much love, she was also full of gratitude for absolutely everything in her life. Once again, I realized how having gratitude can affect every aspect of our lives.
Jackson shared several insights which resonated with me. The one I would like to share is how every morning she wakes up – before she even gets out of bed – and gives thanks for two things she appreciates in her life. I thought this was such a wonderful practice and original idea. While over the years I have heard and shared many gratitude practices, such as my favorite, journaling, I thought that this new practice can fit into any morning routine, even if you are getting ready to rush out the door.
One can express gratitude through verbal communication, letters or gestures. Sometimes a simple “thank you” can make all the difference and it does not take too much time or effort. I recently began taking mahjongg lessons, and it is a game of rituals. It is customary to wish others good luck before the game begins. I found that just responding by saying, “thank you,” makes me feel good.
Gratitude Heals
Another important, and often uncommon, aspect of expressing gratitude is that it can improve your physical and mental health. Studies have shown that it can also help combat depression. Losing loved ones over the holiday season is more common than we would like to believe. Studies have shown that losing a loved one can make us feel as if life is even more precious and fragile. One study done in The Journal of Positive Psychology in 2011 found traumatic events such as the loss of a loved one or near-death experiences can increase feelings of gratitude.
Certainly, this does not apply to everyone, but through my experience I have come to believe this to be true. For example, when my father died in 1991, I was barely 40 years old. We had a close relationship and losing him was like losing a part of myself. After he died, and still, decades later, I feel a huge sense of gratitude for having had all the time I did with him. I am grateful for all the memories we created together. My gratitude deepens when I remember that many women do not share the same positive experiences with their fathers.
Gratitude in Times of Grief
When grieving, people often struggle for ways to manage their grief or find comfort. At those times, gratitude can be a powerful focus as you highlight all the good memories of or with the person. Consider reflecting on the person’s life and their legacy. You might also consider sharing stories with others, expressing gratitude for having had the person in your life.
This is one of the many reasons why funerals and celebrations of life are such an important part of the healing process. Perhaps this is the reason I’ve had so much trouble dealing with the loss of my grandmother. Because I was only 10 years old, my parents did not allow me to attend the funeral. I did not process until much later in life, when I became a grandmother myself.
My Questions to You:
What are you grateful for this season? Have you experienced loss recently? How do grief and gratitude come together for you?
